,. teenage lobotomy /

[susan]

hello australia, i'm alice faye fairchild and i'm twenty-one. i'm here because i live here...i think (resident).

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YOU'D NEVER SEE ME ..

smoking crack. if i were to smoke crack and such, hypothetically speaking of course, i'd do it in the privacy of my own apartment.

I'M TOTALLY ADDICTED TO ..

cigarettes, vodka aka rubbing alcohol, rock ballads and american 80s clothes.

I GET ANNOYED AS BEING STEREOTYPED AS A ..

wiccan. yeah, man, i'm really going to kill your cat on halloween. of course that was back in the states, so i might burn some kangaroos on a stake here. who bloody knows.

I FEEL MOST INSECURE ABOUT ..

my didgeridoo playing skills. i tell you, don't challenge me to a contest, that would be ultimate social humiliation for me.

IF I COULD TRADE LIVES WITH ANY OTHER PERSON FOR A DAY IT WOULD BE ..

dr. drew pinsky, so i could inconspicuously fondle myself and tom sizemore.

THE LAST TIME I CRIED WAS ..

when mufasa died in the first lion king.
.....in '94, when i was 5.

THE CRAZIEST THING I'VE EVER DONE FOR SOMEONE IS ..

get one nipple pierced in the back of a moving car while i was high. very epic shit, sir. also, i still have it today, it may need a companion.

I HAVE NEVER ..

hit on a police officer to get out of a ticket, though it sounds interesting and i must try at least once in my life, don't you think?

I DON'T GET NEARLY ENOUGH CREDIT FOR ..

not wearing a bra but not yet sagging. it's god's only gift to me, i swear.

THE MOST RIDICULOUS RUMOR I'VE HEARD ABOUT MYSELF IS ..

that i'm a springsteen fan. NO.

IF I CAN'T SLEEP IT'S USUALLY BECAUSE ..

the lights are on or someone's watching me, neither of which i approve.

IN FIVE YEARS I SEE MYSELF ..

being 26. i've always aspired to be a cougar, however.

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parents ,,

mother's english, dad's a flaming scotsman. she runs a bakery, and he's worked so many jobs that i really don't know what he's up to these days. last year he was injured on a construction job and got these marvelous painkillers as a result. sure, the workers comp checks were nice too, but not as nice as the prescrips. i'll have to give them a ring and check up sometime.

siblings ,,

barnaby's eleven, he's a real qt. i think he's in about fifth grade now, he gets bullied for being smart and weird. tragic, really, but he'll probably own microsoft someday so i try to keep on his good side.

others ,,

nah.

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hi monster hospital, i'm susan, and i also play grand theft auto. but this one here is played-by daisy lowe, that babe.

[barrett jackson]