,. sober from a bar

[colton hirsch.]

hello australia, i'm colton rex hirsch and i'm eighteen. i'm here because i want to get laid(tourist).

---

YOU'D NEVER SEE ME ..

actually do anything that involves effort, i'm a lazy fuck with no future.

I'M TOTALLY ADDICTED TO ..

miley cyrus. i usually smoke a joint and watch hannah montana, and imagine all crazy sex we could have. plus that shows very inspiring, everybody makes mistakes.

I GET ANNOYED AS BEING STEREOTYPED AS A ..

a pot head. my head isn't made out of pot.

I FEEL MOST INSECURE ABOUT ..

look at me, i'm absolute perfection. i have nothing to feel insecure about.

IF I COULD TRADE LIVES WITH ANY OTHER PERSON FOR A DAY IT WOULD BE ..

hugh hefner. the man is a legend.

THE LAST TIME I CRIED WAS ..

last night, my girlfriend broke up with me. stupid bitch.

THE CRAZIEST THING I'VE EVER DONE FOR SOMEONE IS ..

streak through the cafeteria at my highschool, i don't know how that was for someone, but you know it was pretty fucking crazy.

I HAVE NEVER ..

had sex with the lights on.

I DON'T GET NEARLY ENOUGH CREDIT FOR ..

my intelligence, you know just because i do some pretty stupid shit doesn't mean im a complete idiot, give me a break. i'm a fucking teenage boy.

THE MOST RIDICULOUS RUMOR I'VE HEARD ABOUT MYSELF IS ..

i moved to australia because my parents kicked me out. not ridiculous, and not a rumor either.

IF I CAN'T SLEEP IT'S USUALLY BECAUSE ..

i haven't taken any pills yet.

IN FIVE YEARS I SEE MYSELF ..

dead, i can be really fucking careless while crossing the street. plus australia seems pretty fucking dangerous.

---

parents ,,

darby hirsch, 55, nurse.
maxwell hirsch, 57, photographer.

siblings ,,

james hirsch, brother, 30, photographer.
julia lawson, sister, 30, teacher.
lucas hirsch, brother, 22, med student.
alba hirsch, brother, 26, make-up artist.

others ,,

tripp austin hirsch, nephew, 6.

---

hi monster hospital, i'm jessica, and i also play jesus christ. but this one here is played-by luke p, they're so fine.

[gigi valentine]